6 years ago
The Rights of Wives in Islam
When Islam dawned on the world, women were much oppressed in the different cultures and even in Christianity; according to the Holy book woman was responsible for the Original Sin for which man was sent to the earth to suffer, and for this sin God had to send his son( Jesus) to die on the Cross. To cut short, she was responsible for the miseries of men and the Crucifixion of God's son. That why females were considered inferior to male.
In Islam Eve is not alone resposible for the Original Sin, Adam is reposible too and even he is to be blamed more than her. Anyway, God has forgiven them both.
Contrary to the approache adopted by the Holy Book towards women, Islam has elevated the status of women, God has made the creation of women as a sign of His greatness, God says in the Holy Quran what means:
The verse starts with the words" Among his signs…"; the word "sign" in Arabic is synonymous to the word miracle, the Holy Quran starts the verse with a resounding strong word to attracts man's hearing to what follows, according to the above mentioned verse, woman in Islam is so honourable to the extent that God has made her creation a miracle and a sign of His greatness.
So in Islam a wife is so honourable gift to man--- she is not as the Old Testament says
Then comes the following words "He created for you mates from among yourselves…" These words lay emphasis on the ultimate equality, the ultimate affection and the ultimate love that should always govern the relation between man and his wife, implicitly it refutes the long-spread saying that women is a different creature as some religions claim. Moreover, God lavishes man and woman with "love between and mercy", this is the beautiful meaning of marriage in Islam, no oppression but justice; no prejudice but equality.
In Islam a wife is a half with her husband and both form one entity; the Holy Quran uses the Arabic word" zawg" when referring to a wife, this word is always masculine in Arabic and literally means" half", so woman, according to the literal meaning of the word means the other half of man, this means that Quran stresses the equality between man and his wife… Man is no longer the head of his wife as Christianity claims.
For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. (Ephesians 5:23)
Lady E. Cobold says
The following verse from the Holy Quran stressed the same fact in more emphatic way. The verse says:
The inward meaning of garment is peace and security. Abdullah Yousuf Ali comments on this verse "Men and women are each other's garments i.e. they are for mutual support, mutual comfort and mutual protection, filling into each other as a garment fits the body. A garment is also both for show and concealment."
The Prophet (SAWS) said in reply to a questioner who asked about the best form of wealth, "The best wealth is a tongue which is wet with the remembrance of Allah and a health which is thankful to Allah and a believing, pious wife who helps her husband to keep to the practice of his faith."
For the sake of bervity, the rights of wievs over men can be condensed as follows:
1-To give her Mahr( Alimony ), neither a husband nor his father has the right to take from it. It is part of the marriage contract and required for the legality of the marriage.
2-The wife will get full maintenance from her husband e.g. food, clothing, housing, education, recreation, medication etc.
3-Even if the wife is rich, she need not spend single penny for her husband or family. All these are the responsibilities of her husband.
4-The mutually agreed conditions signed during the marriage contract become binding on both the spouses.
5-She has also the right to divorce her husband if necessary.
6-She can go to the court if her husband fails to meet her basic requirements.
7-The husband and wife have mutual inheritance rights from the time of marriage.
8-The first and worthiest condition of marriage to be fulfilled by the husband is to
This is an order of the Prophet [salla Allahu `alayhi wa alihi wa sallam, abbr. (s)] according to the hadith:
9-He cannot order her to do anything that is against religion. The Prophet (s) said:
10-He must exercise patience and be prepared to listen to her advice in every situation. The Prophet (s) listened to the advice of his wives in matters ranging from the smallest to the greatest.
11- If she invites him to wake up and perform the late night prayer, it is praiseworthy for him to do so and vice-versa. The Prophet (s) prayed for such people: "May Allah grant mercy to a man who gets up at night and prays, and wakes up his wife, and if she refuses, he sprinkles water in her face; may Allah grant mercy to a woman who gets up at night and prays, and wakes up her husband, and if he refuses, she sprinkles water in his face."
12-He must respect her and pay attention to her needs so that she will respect him and pay attention to his.
13-He must control his passions and act in a moderate manner especially in the context of sexual intercourse. Remember that Allah has placed between you and her "friendship and mercy" (mawadda wa rahma), not the gratification of your every lust; and that the Prophet (s) advised young men to marry "because it casts down the gaze and walls up the genitals," not in order to stimulate sexual passions. The husband should habitually seek refuge in Allah before approaching his wife and say:
14-He must never ever divulge the secrets of the household and those of the married couple.
15-He must strive with sincerity to acquire her trust, and seek her welfare in all the actions that pertain to her.
16-He must treat her generously at all times. The Prophet (s) said that the best gift or charity (sadaqa) is that spent on one's wife.
17-If she works outside the house, it is praiseworthy for the husband to hire house help to relieve her from too heavy a burden. The wife's duties do not require her to feed her child, nor even to nurse it, nor to clean nor cook. It is the husband's duty to provide a nursemaid, food for older children, and servants to clean and cook. However, if the wife does those things out of mercy and love, it is a gift to the husband on her part.
18-He must avoid excessive jealousy and remember that Allah is also jealous that he himself not commit. The Prophet (s) said: "Do not be excessively jealous of your wife lest evil be hurled at her on your account" (la tukthir al-gheerata `ala ahlika fa turama bi al-su'i min ajlik) and he said: "Allah is jealous and the believer is jealous; and Allah's jealousy is that the believer should not go to that which Allah has forbidden for him" (inna Allaha yagharu wa al- mu'minu yagharu wa gheerat Allahi in ya'tiya al-mu'minu ma harrama `alayhi).
19-He must protect her honor and not place her in situations where it is compromised or belittled. The Prophet (s) said that Allah will not ever let him enter Paradise who cares little who shares his wife's privacy. This includes the husband's brother, uncle, and nephew, let alone non-related friends, neighbors, and complete strangers.
20-He must exercise patience and forgiveness in the case of disagreement or dispute, and not rush to divorce. The declaration of divorce is a grave matter indeed, and the Prophet (s) said: "Of permitted matters the most loathesome before Allah is divorce" (abgh`ad al-halal `ind Allah al-talaq). In another hadith he said that divorce is so grave that because of it Allah's throne is made to shake. He said: "The best intercession [i.e. intervention of a third party] is that which brings back together the husband and the wife." Womanizing -- divorce for the purpose of marrying another woman out of sexual attraction incurs Allah's curse according to the hadith:
(la`ana Allahu kulla dhawwaaqin mutallaaq). Finally, even in the midst of and after divorce, Allah has prescribed kindness upon the ma: "(After pronouncing divorce) she must be retained in honor or released in kindness" (2:228).n
For the above-mentioned reason (i.e. to prevent the quickness of divorce), in his time, Ibn Taymiyya gave the ijtihad (juridical opinion) by saying that three talaqs in one sitting constituted only one. He did this to interdict the prevalent custom of suddenly giving three talaqs, which in his time was on everyone's lips, (i.e. had become so commonplace as to be a habit). However the other four schools of fiqh had the opposite opinion in this matter.
21-He must not dwell on what he dislikes in his wife, but on what he likes.
22-The husband is not to stay away from his wife or keep his wife in a state of suspense, whether at home or abroad, for a protracted period of time except with her consent. Allah said: "Turn not away (from your wife) altogether, so as to leave her hanging. If you come to a friendly understanding and practice self-restraint, then Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Merciful" (4:129). Protracted separation (6 months or more in the Shafi`i school) without prior or subsequent arrangement with the wife, whether the husband is away willingly or unwillingly (for example due to war, imprisonment, or illness) is sufficient grounds for her to obtain divorce from the judge.
23- The Prophet (s) said:
He also said:
The expiation for striking one's slave in the face is to set him or her free on the spot, but what expiation is there for striking one's wife? The Prophet (s) condemned the man who beats his wife in the day and then approaches her at night. And to beat her to the extent of inflicting serious injury is enough grounds for her to obtain divorce from the judge.
24-Caring for one's wife's sexual fulfillment is an obligation of religion. The Prophet (s) warned against rushing to gratify one's pleasure and forgetting that of one's wife. He also disliked that the husband should quickly withdraw from his wife afterwards, as it is a strain upon the wife. If she asks for intercourse, he should not refuse.
25-As to intimate relation of bed, Islam doesn't overlook the women's right in enjoying this natural intrinsic, both man and woman are to be rewarded for their intimate relation in bed simply because if they did something out of the conjugal relation, they will be sinners.. Abu Dharr reported that the Messenger of Allah told his companions that "...in man's sexual intercourse (with his wife) there is Sadqa (charity)." They (the companions) said: Messenger of Allah, is there a reward for him who satisfied his sexual passion among us? He said: Tell me, if he were to devote it to something forbidden, would it not be a sin on his part? Similifearly, if he were to devote it to something lawful, he should have a reward." (Muslim).
Also, in Islam woman should not be taken to bed against her well and should not be treated as a mere chattel of sex. The prophet says
The following hadith postulates one quality that makes a Muslim among the best believers, the hadith says:
No doubt, A Muslim is required to compete with one another to win God's pleasure, among these ways to gain God's pleasure is to be kind to your wife.
To sum it up, read the following verse from the Holy Quran as regard the status of wives:
And women shall have rights similar to the rights against them, according to what is equitable (2:228)